How Stoic philosophy may make you seem selfish to others
Alex Lago Jul 23 · 3 min read as seen on the Apeiran Blog on https://medium.com/the-apeiron-blog/why-stoics-are-often-misunderstood-29349b668e2a
Stoicism and Hedonism are two opposing ideologies — yet they seem so similar to the untrained eye.
A Hedonist lives for pleasure and does whatever they want in the moment. Likewise, a Stoic lives for the moment.
The difference is in their end goal. In fact, what Stoics and Hedonists want are two very different things.
A Hedonist wants to maximize pleasure and minimize pain. This is done by doing as many pleasurable activities as possible and avoiding anything that causes pain.
A Stoic does whatever they view as important. This can easily be misconstrued as selfish — and a true Stoic must do everything in their power to make sure they do not deceive themselves. But a Stoic believes that the universe is an interconnected web and that they must behave altruistically.
But sometimes behaving altruistically isn't in the same conception as many other of society’s do-gooders.
For example, many people believe that giving other people money or doing what others want is being altruistic. A Stoic, however, believes that this behavior isn’t altruistic. They believe that being truly altruistic is controlling their own emotional state and being so they do not cause harm to others.
This idea makes sense — especially when you consider how many people stretch themselves thin to please others. People who behave this way may end up becoming resentful and doing the opposite of what they set out to do.
On the opposite spectrum, a Stoic knows that he does not know how others think and that it may be vastly different than how they think. Something that one individual may value may not be valued by another.
It follows that the best way to help someone out is by allowing them to be self-sufficient and not acting like a crutch for them.
Yes, you should help them in the sense of spiritual guidance and telling them proper values, but not with money or material goods. Stoics believe that these “indifferents” do not truly help people and are not necessary for a happy life.
That is the ultimate goal — that people find happiness. And the highest good that makes you happy is virtue, which consists of prudence, temperance, justice, and fortitude. Hedonists see the highest good as the highest amount of pleasure and pain.
Stoics are truly altruistic, but in a way that makes them seem selfish. Stoics must also take care to analyze their own actions, however, and make sure they are not using “the benefit of others” to justify their own selfish actions. This is easier said than done, and at the end of the day, no one is easier to deceive than ourselves.
That is why Stoics must take great care and constantly be analyzing and seeing what they are doing is for the benefit of the greater community. They must ensure that this attitude to ruling themselves is not misconstrued and used in a way that gives them a license to treat others poorly or with indifference.
It is still apparent, however, that Stoics will always be seen in a similar light to Hedonists. But a Stoic does not take on this ideology for the applause and praise of others. So as long as the Stoic is accomplishing their goals and being truly good to others, it is worth it. This intrinsic belief is all a Stoic requires.